Posted by
Loyal Democrat on Tuesday, August 07, 2007 10:47:57 PM
In order to circumvent all of this social mayhem, one simply needs to renounce their American citizenship. Upon becoming a non-American, a person can simply remain in the country and enjoy the advantages realized by their fellow illegals.
As a legal citizen, you are compelled to pay income taxes. As an illegal, you are spared this hassle, and being exempt from IRS scrutiny enhances your employment possibilities. For example, the American saps that earn say, $21 per hour must pay about 30% in income and social security taxes. As such, they net $14 per hour, yet cost their employers $21, + 7.625% for additional social security taxes. As an illegal, you can offer you services for a flat $18 per hour, thus undercutting the dumb American worker. Plus, by being spared the burden of income taxes, you net more than they do. It is a win-win scenario. The employer saves, and you take home more. Concerned about a loss of benefits? Not to worry. There is always the top-notch health care available at the free emergency room near you. You don’t even have a copay to worry about.
There are other benefits of renouncing citizenship, such as in-state college tuition rates, or better yet (hello Kansas) free (!) college tuition just for being an illegal. You can also save by not having to pay for expensive auto insurance. And let’s not dismiss the ease in which you can get social benefits such as food stamps. And if run-ins with the law seem to be a hobby of yours, you can take advantage of the "three strikes and we’ll give you a fourth try to do better" rule that applies to those that cannot be bothered with visa application paperwork.
So renounce your citizenship today and join us as a fellow illegal. Enjoy tax-free income, free comprehensive medical coverage, food subsidies, and discounts that no American can claim. Heck, you can even drive drunk if you want.
America, land of the free, if you’re here illegally.