Posted by
Loyal Democrat on Thursday, May 10, 2007 12:18:15 AM
A black day has fallen upon us, for world socialism has been dealt the kind of punch that Mike Tyson reserves for the most intimate of partners. A mob of renegade voters in France misread their ballots and inadvertently allowed a right wing voice to creep in under the radar, and now the greatest ally possessed by the American Left has been muted. There is cautious hope that a recount will be instigated, and perhaps Jimmy Carter’s hammer and sickle sweater will be back from the dry cleaners in time for him to oversee the new election. Unfortunately, the defeated party appears to be giving up with only a modest display of rioting, looting, and physical assaults, but there is still hope that widespread destruction flares up. Al Sharpton has agreed to catch a Concorde out of LaGuardia in hopes of fanning the flames until the election can be overturned, though he admits that without a racial victim to exploit his chances are pretty weak.
With the defeat of our socialist brothers, sisters, and pre-op in betweens, the conservatives have been given restored hope of possibly defeating our run to world domination. France, the epitome of leftist utopian thinking, has been a shining light in their embrace of the concept of total surrender to Islamic terrorists, massive interference in business by the government, disdain for anything American, and their tendency to eschew even the most basic of hygiene products. The French have been model citizens for those of us on the American left, and it is heartbreaking to see them defeated with no real chance of disputing the election results.
With any luck, the world will see that global warming affected the climate at the polling centers, and the voters inadvertently selected the wrong name as a result of their heat induced disorientation. Likewise, some of the electorate stated that they voted for the candidate on the right because they feared GW Bush would invade France if they elected their preferred socialist choice. Still others report that they were kept away from the polls by Florida cops that were in the country training for the 2008 American presidential elections. Based on the anecdotal evidence, it is clear that the French people were prohibited from electing the candidate that they really wanted. And as usual, it was the fault of Bush, global warming, and police intimidation at the polls.