Posted by
Loyal Democrat on Wednesday, May 09, 2007 11:34:18 PM
It is time to call out some of the posters to this site that seem to think parody and satirical jabs at the Democrats is something to applaud. The fact is, the posters of such rubbish are misstating the actual positions of the Democratic Party. Democrats are patriots too, and they think the United States is a fine place, but it just has some flaws.
For instance, Democrats appreciate freedom, but we just don’t think people should be free to have more wealth than another citizen has. Wealth should be distributed more fairly than it is now, and freedom is abused when one person ends up with more personal wealth than does another.
Democrats are also the champions of minorities, and the United States has a unique habit of considering its minorities to be lesser people. As Democrats, we know that minorities lack the ability to compete on equal terms with whites, so we support giving them an edge in the form of affirmative action. Our racists opposition fails to comprehend that minorities have inferior abilities and cannot perform as well in school or in the workplace, so their bigoted ideology requires all people, regardless of race, compete on the same level. America cannot abide by a policy that mandates such equal footing, so that policy has to be overcome.
There has also been a lot of insinuations cast out that claim Democrats are the appeasement party, and we are willing to surrender to terrorists. In this case, we are not so much for appeasement, but we do feel that an apology to the Muslims is in order. Western culture has run roughshod over the peaceful inhabitants of the Middle East for centuries, and we have made a practice of plundering their resources without any thought of compensation. By having so offended the Muslims, we are only getting our just desserts. Rather that provoke them further, we Democrats favor making major concessions that will build up the self-esteem of the terrorists. Surely we can endure a little humility in order to make Muslims feel better about themselves. And making concessions is always better than killing.
The list could go on, but the point is made. So quit poking fun at Democrats, for we love our country just as much as you do. We just wish it wasn’t the racist, imperialistic, war mongering, polluting, oppressive, unfair, unjust, hateful, disgusting filth hole that it is now. We Democrats are proud to be Americans, but we are ashamed of everything our country stands for and everything it has ever done. Other than that, we’re cool, so lay off.