In their effort to promote their agenda, Republicans are engaging in the politics of fear. They are fomenting panic over non-issues, and then they claim to be the only entity that can solve the supposed problem. Scaring people into voting for you is an unethical practice, and Republicans should be condemned for engaging in such tactics, especially since there are so many threats that are genuine. 

In contrast, Democrats eschew the practice of scaring the voters.  Democrats know that instead of being driven into the realm of unwarranted fear, citizens need to be able to focus on the issues that can improve their lives and keep disaster at bay. As such, while Republicans quibble about imaginary terrorists, Democrats work toward conquering the real dangers that threaten the collective. 

In spite of the many bona-fide issues that the citizens need to be concerned with, Republicans feel they must resort to the politics of fear in order to get elected. Democrats refuse to join in on these unethical methods; rather they choose to focus on stopping the numerous problems that are guaranteed to eradicate all life on the planet. Voters need to decide whether they want to support the party that seeks power by promoting fear, or support the party whose goal it is to save the planet from utter destruction.

Let’s face it; the people who are losing their homes were defrauded by crafty mortgage companies who drafted loan packages that were far too complicated for people to understand. People were forced to sign loan documents before they were allowed to review them, and the borrowers felt too intimidated too ask for a clarification from an independent third party. Furthermore, the lenders unfairly expected the borrowers to understand the documents that they were signing. The common person cannot be expected to make sound financial decisions, and it is unfortunate that so many lenders preyed upon those who merely wanted to shelter themselves from the elements.

Because those in the current mortgage industry have proven that they do not look out for the commoners, it is time for the government to step in and remove the private investors from the role they have in home financing.  Private investor home financing should be replaced with a special government agency that is tasked with providing home loans to people that need them. Such an operation would remove the profit motive from the financing decisions, and that would translate into a more just system from many angles.

A government lending entity could grant loans based on social criteria rather than financial criteria. Preference could be given to those individuals who are in recognized groups, or to common citizens who have displayed a social conscience through service in the Peace Corps or other activist movements. Likewise, obtaining loans could be made more difficult for those who fail to recycle, drive SUV’s, or support ideas that are offensive to the collective. Such policies would remove the element of greed from mortgage financing decisions, and would reward people for thinking in the correct manner. 

Once the illegal immigrants are granted U.S. citizenship by the provisions of the amnesty bill, they will no longer be the bargain employee that businesses count on. Illegal aliens turned citizen will require higher wages due to minimum wage statutes, the workers will need higher wages to cover the expense of income taxation, and employers will experience increased expenses vis-à-vis SSI and withholding. The amnesty citizens will quickly become the type of expensive employee that companies despise, and all benefits derived from granting amnesty will be lost immediately.

In contrast, legalized slavery will also allow businesses to improve their bottom line while simultaneously supplying goods at lower prices. Slaves have always been bargain priced workers, and getting labor performed at a reduced cost is worth whatever moral sacrifice it takes to obtain it. And just to help the businesses even more, it would be quite easy to compel the common citizens via taxation to supplement the medical care, food, and housing budgets of the slaves. As a result, businesses could retain cheap labor, the poor would have steady work, and the average citizen could supplement the needs of the slaves.

Legalized slavery may have its distasteful side, but it is better than having to pay more for goods or cut ones own lawn. Furthermore, slavery would provide a home for many of the world’s poor, and that would act as a nifty pressure release valve for despotic leaders in third world countries. If their poor remain at home and become disgruntled at their deficient lifestyle, they might actually revolt against such leaders and install a legitimate, capitalist based government. And slavery is better than capitalism any day. Especially when it comes time to spread the pine straw.

First, there is the issue of poverty. Rather than drain the vaults of the rich slowly, my plan will simply eradicate all wealth in one fell swoop. The present form of currency shall be deemed to be worthless, and replaced with a new LD currency. Everyone will then be given $100 million dollars, thus making everyone fabulously and equally rich. Poverty and equality are instantly achieved.

Next, I will make it a crime to charge money for any item that is deemed to be a necessity of life. All food, housing, medicine, transportation, and so forth will be available in unlimited quantities, all free of charge. The greedy suppliers that currently charge money for such services will be put out of business, and people will no longer be charged for items that are rightfully theirs for the asking.

Then I will abolish forced labor. Too many people go to jobs that they dislike, or they are paid less than they feel they deserve to make. Since forcing people to work just to earn money to buy things that they desire is akin to slavery, all people will be paid the same weekly income regardless of whether or not they work. Those that opt to work can choose their profession, and they will be paid the same as their coworkers regardless of the differences in abilities. People will no longer be penalized just because they performed poorly in school or opted to forego formal education altogether.

I will then eliminate the overcrowding in prisons by releasing all inmates. The prisoners are all victims of society’s lack of adequate attention and guidance, so society should not be able to just lock them away and ignore the responsibility we have to rehabilitate criminals.

I will eliminate all war by disbanding our military and offering a formal surrender to any foe that has a beef with us. Peace is easy to obtain if one simply surrenders and refuses to put up a fight. By allowing the other nations of the world to deal with us in a totally weakened state, they will no longer feel intimidated, and as a result they will like us more.

Since most Americans do not like them anyway, I will eradicate the Bill of Rights. The protection afforded free speech only serves to allow people to criticize and offend others. The right to bear arms just allows people to arm themselves against the government that is trying to look out for their needs. The protection against illegal searches just allows criminals to hide their goods, and besides, if a person is innocent, then they have nothing to hide. And the idiotic 10^th amendment takes away the federal governments ability to control the people from a central location: such inefficiency! Rights are only used by people to commit acts that others would prefer they didn’t do, so for the benefit of the majority, the Bill of Rights must go.

Finally, it has become apparent that political elections only serve to divide the people into opposing camps, Causing bickering that only harms them. Therefore, I shall eliminate the need for all future elections by remaining in office for life.

Examine my platform, and you will see that I am really no different than the other candidates, except that I am at least honest. So it is time to admit that the politicians that you elect no longer serve you, rather you now serve them. And if you are going to live your life under a thumb, it may as well be the thumb of an honest guy like me.

As most of the Hollywood elite knows, people are better off without wealth. Ambitious third world residents need to be reminded that communist dictatorships are the way to go, and that rich Americans simply adore totalitarian dictators. Thankfully, Cameron has stepped up to the plate and has taken some of the workload off of Jimmy Carter.

So kudos to Ms. Diaz for having the fortitude to show the Peruvians that she supports Mao, regardless of the death and oppression his ideas has caused them. Perhaps if the Peruvians emulated Cameron in her fondness for Chinese communism, they too would be fabulously rich movie stars with residences in Beverly Hills.

Affirmative action and slave reparations are in order.

Only the racists on the Right think that blacks stand any chance of competing with whites on a level playing field. Democrats understand that blacks are mentally and socially inferior due to genetic and cultural deficiencies, thus they will never be able to survive unless whites offer them handouts. Such needs are met by Democrats who are sympathetic to the needs of the black community, and they strive to make things as easy as possible for blacks to succeed. Without such concessions, no black could ever hope to succeed when matched up against a white, and it is totally racist to expect otherwise. With such support, is it any wonder that blacks readily praise the political party that recognizes their lack of ability and is willing to give them the handouts they desperately need?

As for reparations, it is common knowledge that every black in America is a direct ancestor of a slave, and because of this link, they are far behind whites economically. No black has ever prospered in America, thus proving their slave past is the element that holds them back in school and employment performance. Additionally, if blacks had not been taken as slaves, their ancestors would be living in the paradise that is contemporary Africa, not the cesspool that is the United States.

We need to remember that people only commit crimes because society has let them down. Most child rapist, if not all, were neglected or rejected by their peers. They in turn act out their rejection by attacking children. So though they are technically considered "criminals", sex offenders are really victims themselves. Just as you would not punish the child that was raped, you should not punish the rapist.

As for the ridiculous Kennedy verdict, the death penalty is never justified. In such cases, even incarceration is rarely appropriate. Instead, rehabilitation should be utilized whenever possible. If your car has engine trouble, you do not lock it in the garage for twenty years; you take it to get repaired. Child rapists should be afforded at least the same
courtesy you would give an automobile.

It is truly a shame how Kennedy is being mistreated. And please bring a candle with you when we hold our protest vigil on his behalf.

The pro amnesty coalition recognizes that individuals of Hispanic descent simply have a pressing need to circumvent our immigration laws because their own country can never become a prosperous, self-sufficient entity. Since the Mexicans lack the skills necessary to operate a productive nation, we should welcome them into ours. By doing that, we recognize their lack of talent and bless them with our own superior skills at managing a government.

As for the increase in domestic crime that results from the presence of the illegals, the pro amnesty coalition readily accepts this as a cultural characteristic of those of Hispanic origin. It is common knowledge that Hispanics lack the ability to conduct themselves within the guidelines of a civilized society, and only a racist would expect otherwise. Conversely, rather than celebrate this example of diversity, anti amnesty protesters complain about the increased crime. Such a reaction only proves anti amnesty proponents are bigoted against the Hispanic cultural difference. Such people expect Hispanics to obey the law, once again displaying their intolerance of those who are different.

Finally, the anti amnesty crowd expects Hispanics to be productive members of society, whereas the pro amnesty force realizes that Hispanics cannot make ends meet without government assistance. Hispanics require handouts in order to survive, and given our superior ability to achieve, it is up to those of us that live north of the border to care for the illegal aliens from the south. Just as one cannot expect the family dog or pet hamster to be self sufficient, it is equally wrong to expect a Hispanic to have such skills.

The anti amnesty protesters are racist because they expect lesser skilled cultures to be law abiding, capable of self-governance, and self-sufficient. Based on this vile bigotry, such individuals reject the influx of illegal aliens from Mexico. The pro amnesty voices realize that Hispanics need our assistance to survive, and such proponents are willing to make allowances to the inferior people of Hispanic descent. Smug racism is always repugnant.

As MAPA President Nativo Lopez stated, non-citizens of the United States have now "claim(ed) our rights to legalization for all undocumented immigrants and a fair immigration reform for the country." Lopez correctly points out that it is the right of non-Americans to expect the citizens of the United States to allow whatever foreigner that wants it free access and citizenship to our country, and completely care for them once they have arrived. For their part, President Bush and the Senate have acknowledged that the United States has a greater responsibility to meeting the desires of the citizens of other nations than they have to meeting the desires of American citizens. Our elected officials have incorrectly operated as agents for our own country, when in fact their true obligation is to the indigent populations that wish to climb aboard our economic lifeboat.

So rejoice America! The President and our Senators have shown that they are nobler than the commoners that they rule. Rather than lodge protests, we should be proud that we have elected officials that are willing to sell out our nation by allowing a massive influx of people who know how to appreciate true totalitarian governments. With any luck, enough immigrants will flow in so as to allow us to adopt a true third world culture, and the massive government structure that has been put in place over the last decade can finally secure its grip on the throats of those that would defy it. Maybe then we will finally appreciate the benefits of an all encompassing government, and experience the efficiency that is enjoyed in third world dictatorships across the globe.